Feb. 21, 2005 - 23:04
"i lie awake wondering..."
i have hot rod circuit's song, "the pharmacist", stuck in my head.
i lie awake wondering
if things could have been much different
second chance, what's become,
of a friendship if you can call this one?
stayed in touch, stood behind
while i gave you space
and you invaded mine...
this is one of stacey's favourite songs.
i remember listening to it while driving home from the rescue mission with her. just she and i and the orange north-western sky.
stacey, stacey, stacey...she's the girl; the friend, i fell out on when she was going through a rough time.
stacey went through a substance-abuse problem, and although i haven't dealt with problems affectively from time-to-time, she was stacey, and she was supposed to know better. she was my best friend and she was supposed to be smart, but at that point in our friendship, she was the most idiosyncratic person in the world to me.
i thought she was brighter.
but long story short, that was three years ago and i have changed my mindset a lot since then. when one matures, they learn a lot about life, such as how it is not the best idea to judge another person for their "misconduct", especially during trying times.
stacey and i are still friends. i visited her the other day. after a period of idiosyncracy on my part, i see her as stacey again. she may have not done the right thing by using narcotics to escape her problems, but neither did i by judging her so harshly and leaving her when i could have helped her. in retrospect, i thought i was brighter than i was to do what i did.
aw life, what an awkward process.