May. 19, 2005 - 16:46
luckyduck___
in all honesty, i'm trying to make amends for faults i've done in the past, and therefore, i am forever indebted.
i want to keep this in my mind always and have a humble and contrite heart. there are so many walls within me i need to tear down, and still so many walls i need to build to block out the uneccesary.
like friday. friday will be my first test to avoid alcohol. i promised to not drink in order to go to a party with my stedfast l.d.s. friend. she said she'd only go if i didn't drink, and i promised her i wouldn't. not a sip, anything. this will be hard, but i'll do it. :)
i got a new phone today. i bought a "used" one, which was extremely affordable.
it was kind of funny though. when i talked to the sprint representative about buying a new phone, he asked me what i was looking for and what i had. before i had even replied, he had found my make and model on the computer and replied,
"wow, you had a nice one."
grrr, that just kills me, it was a present from my brother too. the only thing that i was worried about other than my mother yelling at me and regretting the day i was born (i was an accident, and she reminds me every time she is in disagreement with me,) was if my brother was going to be sad.
he bought it as sort of a consolation present. "sorry i missed so many of your birthdays. sorry i borrowed so much money from you and never paid you back. sorry i wasn't there for you when you needed me."
i felt so bad because his present was of so much intrinsic value.
i felt like an idiot.
yearbook signing was today. some of my comments killed me. i can't believe how fortunate i am.
i'm a lucky girl, i really am.