Feb. 06, 2006 - 01:05
a huge update to fill in all of the blanks
so. let's see, when did i stop writing in this. i'll post quick notes.
new: http://triggerbear.diary-x.com
email me for the password for protected entries.
the last troy saw of me was during a ski trip we were both at. he waved to me and i avoided him because of the demands of someone behaving difficult and troubled.
i wrote troy an email after my difficult relationship basically telling him i'd wait for him.
he never wrote back.
i moved on. i started seeing a new boy named jake. we grew close.
after several disputes with jake, i started wondering about boys i once knew, including troy, and mike, my prom date from earlier that year.
i admitted to jake that i like troy again.
my friend daniel suddenly found me on myspace after months not speaking to each other...and it turns out, his new roomate is troy. i had no clue they even knew each other, nevertheless would be compatible as friends and roomates.
i told him how i felt about troy and asked him to write me if he mentioned me.
daniel came down to the city i live to visit my best friend katie.
after spending the day with them, and with thoughts of daniel's roomate on my mind, i wrote troy.
i wrote him the longest email explaining him every thought i've ever had of him.
days past and he never wrote me back.
suddenly, i received an email from daniel.lion saying that troy asked if daniel had seen me when he came down, even though i addressed daniel's presence when he came down to visit.
more weeks past. my inclination to jake dropped. this time me attraction was towards mike. his hands. his smiles. his eyes.
i told jake i needed to see mike again to see if i still have emotions towards him.
j wasn't happy, but he agreed that i should see mike if we wanted to continue a relationship together.
well, mike and i saw each other, which was actually just this past friday.
i won't get into specifics but i realized i don't want to be with mike, but i don't want to be with jake either...
and so this kid is on her own, the first time in three years, and its probably for the best :)