Aug. 27, 2005 - 16:42
i never have time to write here
so this is how my health has been this past week:
abnormal stomach cramping, severe lower abdominal pain, irregular bleeding. i finished a full menstrual cycle a week and a half ago.
i saw a doctor who knew...absolutely nothing. she graduated medical school two months ago, which i'm not judging her for, but sometimes there's just knowledge that can not be gained through any other medium other than experience.
i don't really have the money to get a second opinion, or the time really, in between two surgeries i have scheduled next month.
jae has been completely supportive of me in so many ways, i'm so lucky i have him.
i recently added six more credits unto my schedule, and now go to school monday-thursday from 4:40-9 pm and saturday from 9-12 am.
on weekdays i take care of the children from 8-4 babysit for another family on friday nights and work full days on weekends.
can i tell you something? when i'm with jae i feel surreal. i can't believe he's real. i can't believe i'm not in some cruel play where jae will be yanked from my life like deus ex machina.
and this will sound cruel, and sort of mean, but whenever i hear about other couples relationships, in my personal life, i don't believe it can be possible. i don't believe they are as lucky as jae and i. i acknowledge the possibility but...
we fit each other perfectly. we are the pre-printed photo that comes in your wallets and picture frames. we are every dynamic couple and every tragic ending. he is the grace and assurity in my every walking step and life enduring breath.
he is my konstantine, my casanova. he is everything to me.